At this point, you've basically decided to vanish. You say it's not what you want, but it's what you've resigned yourself to, and you know as well as I do that doing so is as good as dunking yourself in BBQ sauce and throwing yourself to the wolves.

Despite the fact that I talk to you, and only you, you've still decided to take yourself away, and just give up.

You say that the feelings of anger are to keep yourself solid, but you're just miring in your own feelings of regret and resentment that you 'have to' vanish.

What can we honestly do when you've given up on yourself? How are we suppose to feel that you've decided on a form of mental suicide akin to carbon monoxide poisoning?