keepersouha | (no subject)

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slave

(no subject)

... I don't really like looking at the notes that are left around, but...

Why does one of them warn of me being kidnapped in the near future?

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... I just.. Can't really find the point of trying to "win", by now.

I'm fake, petty, constantly agitated, and people will go out of their way to point this out to me. My own mind apparently was probably going to end up erasing me if Noriko hadn't stopped it.

Even if I tried to get rid of them, I'm not allowed to. Even if I tried to live with them, they'd go out of their way to make things worse. The last time I tried to make peace with them directly ended up having them manipulate me and provoke me.

So it's a bit hard to not just be "constantly angry guy" all of the time.

...what you're telling me is that I'm likely to lose a friend soon.

I know you rejected the idea of extended life, but this rather hurts, you know.

... I don't think having an extended life would have helped it.

It probably would've made it worse.

That's really not the problem here, and you know it.

Well you're the one who pointed that out, even if it were the problem or not!

I just... Don't know what to do here. The only other option would be to split us, at this point. But then one would have to wonder whether to keep them around, who'd get our real body, what to do with them and just... Nergh, it's no wonder I'd end up vanishing.

At this point, you've basically decided to vanish. You say it's not what you want, but it's what you've resigned yourself to, and you know as well as I do that doing so is as good as dunking yourself in BBQ sauce and throwing yourself to the wolves.

Despite the fact that I talk to you, and only you, you've still decided to take yourself away, and just give up.

You say that the feelings of anger are to keep yourself solid, but you're just miring in your own feelings of regret and resentment that you 'have to' vanish.

What can we honestly do when you've given up on yourself? How are we suppose to feel that you've decided on a form of mental suicide akin to carbon monoxide poisoning?

Apparently, that you're supposed to accept it as what was going to happen and then support the fact.

I mean, it's not like anyone will miss him at this point. He doesn't like himself, and hasn't for years-- what difference does that make to you to learn about something that was going to happen since you broke him and made me?

.......

If I'm the one that broke him and made you... then I should be the one to fix him.

Oh? And just how will you do that?

I'll figure out something.

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